KoDauk Moment(s)

Life on the express train! - Week 8 / 2 months

2012-01-23T12:29:00.001-05:00

Emerson is growing up so fast! I am finding myself missing the “little Em”, and really, she is still very little! Days are blurred and weeks are passing by. I am trying to make more conscious effort to sit back and enjoy our moments instead of stressing over little tasks…like washing the bottles!

Grandma Dauk and Aunty Nikki came to visit for a weekend. We went for a walk around downtown along with Patty and Selma and enjoyed home cooked meals by Aunty Nikki. Alas, the visit was too short! Their trip did allow Chuck and I our first date night as parents. We went to have dinner at Bar Taco, and watched a movie (Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy). We enjoyed having some time to ourselves, but we were also very happy to come home to our little girl. Chuck’s steps got faster and faster as we approached our building – usually, I find it a bit annoying when he walks too fast, but on this night, I found it very sweet for I knew he was anxious to return to his light and joy.

Her BM is slowly, but surely, returning to normal; however, we are facing another nuisance! Eczema! Dr. Katy believes she has developed a food allergy. So, we have been off dairy, bovine, nuts, shellfish, wheat, anything spicy, etc. Of course, I mean “me” when I say “we”. Well…anything for my little girl!

We are starting to venture out of the house more often. We started Mommy & Me yoga class, joined a New Mother’s group sponsored by the Greenwich Hospital, and I’m looking at a few mommy groups on Meetup.com. I’m finding that she gets thrown off her eating schedule on the days we are out for more than a couple of hours, which results in her binge feeding at night and difficulty falling asleep. It’s not easy, but hoping practice makes perfect and we will prevail!

At home, I’m finding that I now have to turn off the TV when she is awake. She LOVES it! (Like father, like daughter!) I can’t even get her to eat when she’s transfixed on the screen. For now, there is no tantrum when I turn off the TV. I am hoping this will persist…although, I am certain that TV vs. Mommy will be a battle I will have to fight for many years ahead.

Em with the Dauk family members!

Farewell 2011! Welcome 2012! - Week 7

2012-01-05T20:03:00.005-05:00

This week, Ellie and William came to visit and we went for a long walk. I'm looking forward to the day when Em would interact with William on our “dates”. We also had our first visitors of 2012 - Auntie Jenny and Uncle Jun! They brought so many goodies for Em, and I have to say, mommy's favorite washcloths and burpies to date. :)

I'm surprised that Em's already drooling quite a bit. According to Dr. Katy, this is very normal for babies her age. I always thought babies didn't start drooling until teething! Em also sticks her tongue out and does a “taste test” before feeding. I’m hoping we don’t have a picky eater in future.

On the New Year’s Eve, we dined out again with Em. This time, she stayed in her stroller the entire time and let us enjoy our meal. She gets engrossed by light fixtures and entertains herself well. We welcomed 2012 watching the countdown on TV. I guess no more wild, extravagant NYE for us! (Chuck and I are perfectly OK with this!!) Here’s to great new adventures in 2012~~

Christmas & Em's first designer shoes! - Week 6

2011-12-29T16:07:00.001-05:00

Em’s starting to grasp things and able to hold on with a little bit of help, although she needs no help in grabbing my hair and not letting go. :)

We gave Em a little bit of prune juice this week per a nurse’s advice…a BIG MISTAKE! We should have waited it out or tried other methods first. She has been going none stop since. She doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, but … we are definitely suffering. Not only from having to change her constantly, but also emotionally – constantly worrying and obsessing over her poop. I am reminiscing the glee from Week 1!

Em enjoyed her first Christmas. We decided it is still too early for Em to face a crowd, i.e., church, so we spent the day quietly at home. We opened gifts in the morning, and went out for a walk and dinner. It was Em's first time dining out. She initially fussed a little when her stroller came to a stop, but as soon as we picked her up, she was perfect. We took turns holding her and enjoyed our family meal!

Em's shoes (from her daddy) are her first Stuart Weitzman. Alas, still too big!

Looking forward to the day we can go shoe shopping together.

Mommy time - Week 5

2011-12-22T22:37:00.003-05:00

Time accumulated at home started to get under my skin, then morphed into short temper and snarky comments. Chuck graciously (and somewhat forcefully) kicked me out of the house for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon. I opted to head to the mall for pedicure and seriously pondered whether I should buy one of those massage chairs for home…

Em enjoys play time, although tummy time seems to get her frustrated a little. She has pretty strong neck and back to hold herself up, but still weak in her arms. She loves to watch her mobile go round and round, stares at the rattles with wide eyes, and even kicks around quite a bit.

This week, we attempted to start a nighttime routine of getting Em to bed, and tested putting her in her crib overnight (vs. bassinet in our room). Well, it didn’t work out so well, mainly because she is so much more active during late evening (see Week 4). Dim light and soft music did not help when the baby is wide-awake and incessantly wanting to feed (not to mention the TV noise from the living room seeping in to the nursery, but more on this later). We will revisit this in another few weeks when her sleep bouts are a little more consolidated.

Mrs. Independence - Week 4

2011-12-15T19:13:00.002-05:00

Grandma K has left and I’m learning each day to be more and more independent. Chuck’s very hands-on, but the fact of matter is he has to be at work. This week, Em and I started venturing out all on our own – by car and on foot! When we got to our first destination, might I say on time, it felt like such a feat!

Em bursts out into laughter nowadays – some in response to our silly faces, some spontaneously in her sleep. We are also noticing that she seems to be more demanding in the late evening. The hours between 9PM to 2AM have been hit or miss, particularly if I’m getting a break and Chuck or Grandma K is on watch. Both of them seem to think the cause is her showing preference for the “boob” over the bottle. Hmm…

...Could you even believe that this sweet face can throw a tantrum? I think not. :)

Em also had her first visitors this week! The Panaros came to visit with lots of goodies from the Korean market (thank you!). Their son is 3 years old and the daughter is 10 months old. Em really had no clue that she had her first play date, but we are all looking forward to more to come!

Getting acquainted - Week 2 & 3

2011-12-08T14:50:00.001-05:00

Em’s cord fell off in week 2, and she’s starting to show more facial expressions, including her beautiful smiles! Em is surprisingly alert and curious of her surroundings as a newborn. I find myself already starting to worry how to entertain/stimulate her.

My mom, Grandma K, came to visit from Toronto. It was so helpful to have her around. Thanks to her gentle ways, we learned Em loves to take bath. We also ventured out around downtown. Grandma K did not approve at first (in Asian culture, newborn and new mom did not leave the house for at least 30 days!); nonetheless, she came on board and we enjoyed a little shopping, gelato, and a cup of Joe!

We got poop! Give thanks! - Week 1

2011-11-24T14:19:00.005-05:00

It's week 1. As newbies, both Chuck and I are clueless as to what we are doing. However, we are managing and surviving (I might even boldly claim that we are thriving)...except we have one serious matter at hand. Em needs to poop and she isn't...

Em is bit jaundice, although not quite to require phototherapy. Our pediatrician, Dr. Katy, told us that bilirubin is passed through poop; hence, Em needed to poop. Alas, she just could/would not gift us that dirty diaper. Finally, on the day that she was a week old, which happened to be Thanksgiving, she finally started pooping. Chuck was on diaper duty and he joyously shouted, “We got poop!” I ran over and we were both in glee as we changed her. We’ve never been (and my guess is, will never be) so happy to see poop!

Photo credit to Bella Baby!

Introducing...

2011-09-03T20:19:00.003-04:00

...so, it appears this website will just have to remain neglected for a little while longer...

However, I am determined to do a better job to keep families and friends in the loop via this blog once Emerson arrives. A blog feels a bit more personal then posting it to the world on Facebook.

Who's Emerson? The next generation of Ko/Dauk families, of course! Today, she is 29 weeks and 6 days in incubation!

As I did in 2010, our yearly update will come soon enough. For now, very briefly, we are now based in Stamford, CT while I continue to work at Northwestern. I have been commuting weekly until about two months ago, when frequent traveling was discouraged by my doctor. So, I rented an apartment in Evanston and here I am while Chuck, Patty, and Selma are in CT. On September 23, I head back to CT for good! [I can't wait!!] I will continue to work remotely until maternity leave, then figure out what to do from there post Emerson's arrival.

Without further delay, here's introducing Emerson (Emma) Dauk!

I also managed to add a few photos from recent past to the slide show. Enjoy!

2010

2010-12-18T13:12:00.188-05:00

Happy New Year to everyone! Hope everyone had a meaningful finale to 2010, and may God bless each and every day in 2011 with His Grace and Peace.

Have been slacking on sharing "KoDauk moments", but here's an attempt at remembering all the special events of 2010:

January:
I started working for one of the most acknowledged chemist/nanotech scientist in the world. After so many years working in the field of Circadian Rhythms, switching the field of research was exciting but also very terrifying. Thanks to great co-workers, the new work began with full blast right off the start!

February:
Hm...looking through my calendar, only event that stands out for February is that I finally got my IL license after 9 years of living here! The calendar is full with work, work, work...and some wedding planning.

March:
I am now a permanent US resident! Unfortunately, on the same day that we had our immigration interview, we also heard that Chuck's company is closing down after being unable to reach an agreement on a new round of funding with the PE firms. We were anticipating this might happen, but the news was still difficult.

April:
Work and wedding planning pretty much consumed my life in April. Our friends were great in helping us get ready -- JM & AM took us to a trip to Costco for welcome bag contents, JB & AM organized a girls only gathering, and Chuck's groomsmen took us all out to a wonderful dinner out. We felt so loved and we were immensely grateful to have such wonderful people in our lives.

May:
May was all about the wedding! HK and EMB organized a lovely bridal shower/brunch on the first weekend here in Chicago (MdG also came up from Dallas to surprise me at the shower); and DP and JC organized one perfect bridal shower at the resort for all the ladies on the trip. The weeks leading up to [and following] the wedding were precious and unforgettable. We happily soaked in all the love and support from our friends and family, and we only hope we are able to give back just as much in our lifetime.

We got married on the 14th and had an awesome(!) week celebrating with family and friends in Punta Cana. The wedding went without a hitch. I was very impressed with the resort and the wedding coordinator (we had Sandra) since I never even spoke to her before arriving at Punta Cana -- everything was done via email! Ha! :)

June:
Both of our birthdays are in June. We each got our turn in celebrating with friends. We both attempted to throw each other a "surprise", but only Chuck succeeded. For his birthday, he wanted to keep it low key, and when it was forced that we go out for a nice dinner, he figured out we may be expecting company. For Chuck's birthday, we headed to Japonais and enjoyed a summer night by the Riverwalk. For my birthday, we went out for drinks at Edge - one of the bars in the Wicker Park neighborhood.

July:
We hosted our first house party! We had the Chicago peeps over for BBQ one rainy day. We thoroughly enjoyed hosting and entertaining as husband and wife. My brother and his wife also came to visit Chicago. We didn't know it then, but we later learned that my little niece came to visit as well inside her mom. Can't wait until she graces us with her presence in March, 2011!

August:
We quietly celebrated our civil ceremony anniversary (August 31). We devoured a chocolate chip cookie cake, then had dinner at one of our favorite neighborhood restaurants (Angels and Mariachis).

September:
We learned that we were pregnant. We were both overjoyed, and tried our best to keep the babe safe and healthy. Sadly, we lost our baby boy in mid-November at about 14 weeks.

October:
Despite the pesky First Trimester symptoms, we had a wonderful month. I traveled to NYC for a college/sorority reunion. It was a fantastic weekend re-connecting with sisterhood. Getting some private time with Miss Burns was the icing on the cake! We then traveled to Saint Augustine, FL for a wedding. We rented a beach house in Villano Beach with a group of friends and had a wonderful time vacationing and celebrating Puma's wedding.

November:
We headed to West Lafayette for some U of M vs. Purdue football - Go Blue! It was cold and rainy (down right pouring!), but we braved the weather and stayed for the most of the game with PMel, his sis, TN, and KN. Have to say, the highlights were wonderful conversations we shared during the drive to and from with TN & KN!

We were also faced with the worst times of our lives. What can I say about the miscarriage? It's an experience that no one should ever be faced with. We were amazed at how attached we were to the little being who was no longer with us. I do believe we coped with the situation as best as one couple could. We faced the grieving process full on. We were blessed with so much support from our loved ones, and I was ineffably grateful to have a partner who helped to make the unbearable loss bearable.

December:
The pain of losing our little one is still with us, but we are doing our best moving forward. We think of him often and we hope we never stop. He is forever a part of us, and we look forward to meeting him on the other side one day. We now have an angel who threads all our families together in heaven. We know he is safe with our beloved ones who went before us, and it is comforting to know that there is no better parent than God who is looking after him.

Chuck recently signed on to a new job and starts his new venture on January 3, 2011. This also means we are looking at a new adventure as we will relocate to the East Coast (NYC!!!) in next couple of months. We are both excited, nervous, and anxious about the move.

Well, the pages of 2010 have turned. It was one dramatic read, and the story continues. I, for one, can't wait to see what is ahead in our story. Here's to a great new chapter, 2011!

It's almost MARCH!

2010-02-24T14:13:00.001-05:00

Time is flying by, but I assure you, I'm doing my best not to let it get away so easily. As a friend of mine put it on her FB status - "time passes, but life doesn't have to."

I started a new position in January back at NU. Different department and different field of research - I have temporarily left the neuroscience research to learn about and gain technological knowledge in nanoscience. My current projects focus on various forms of cancer and developing therapeutics. It has been very challenging yet stimulating; and it has certainly re-energized and re-focused my long-term career goals.

Chuck and I are settling into our life here in Chicago as a family (along with our pugs, Patty and Selma). We are learning to divide the chores around the house, sharing responsibilities, and learning the little things that you learn about each other as you live together. Chuck's been incredibly understanding and supportive of my long hours at work; and luckily, he is still finding my imperfections endearing and being able to laugh at them. [Thank goodness!]

We cannot believe that our wedding is only weeks ahead! With the new job, and a couple of life "issues" that were thrown at us during the past few months, we have had hardly any time to put into wedding planning. On that note, I am SO(!) glad that we are doing a destination wedding! Although there are many things that I wish I can plan/do, reality is that we just don't have the time and/or energy. We are leaving everything to the resort coordinator, and plan to relax and have a great time vacationing and relaxing with family and friends.

November & December - Synopsis

2009-12-12T12:55:00.008-05:00

What a whirlwind it has been! November came and went with a blink of an eye; and we are already approaching the middle of December. Just a quick recap of the past month and my apologies in advance - I'll take shortcuts and link to Facebook/web photo albums and post no pics.

As of Nov.11, I officially moved in with Chuck back in Chicago; although I headed right back to Dallas for a week to wrap up. My mom came down to Dallas, did some sightseeing, then drove with me back to Chicago via St. Louis. While we were in Dallas, we took an advantage of a Groupon deal I purchased awhile back and took pictures at Dallas Arboretum with Javier from La piqure Studio. Once we got to Chicago, we focused on dress shopping and I'm happy to say - "wedding dress? CHECK!" At first, it was quite stressful since my mom and I had very different visions of the dress. In the end, however, we both agreed on a particular dress and had that moment of "this is it!" The dress didn't induce tears or overwhelming emotion; however, it just felt right.

We hired a mover to ship my belongings from Dallas, and it arrived before me! Lucky Chuck, he had the pleasure of receiving all the boxes by himself. During the week prior to our arrival, he had put in extra effort to rearrange the furniture, tidy up the place, and cleaning it twice to receive my mom...alas, his efforts were not as evident with all the boxes crowding the place!

*At this point, I'd just like to say "Thank you, hon! You're absolutely the best and your thoughtfulness is so~ much appreciated! Love you!*

Well, as soon as the dress shopping was over and mom had safely returned to Toronto, we headed to Colorado for Thanksgiving with Chuck's family. Chuck's parents retired to Colorado mountains, and they have built a wonderful home (the view is absolutely stunning and it really is a peaceful place). More importantly, I can't describe how lucky I am that my in-law's are simply fantastic! They are down to earth, easy going, fun, caring, genuine, and inspiring people. I look forward to spending more time with them and leaning on them for their guidance and wisdom in life.

We returned home for a few days, then we were off to Jamaica for our good friends, John and Amber's wedding. Another wonderful trip to mark 2009. John and Amber were wonderful hosts; and everyday, I was in awe of how graceful and relatable they were with each and every guest. They definitely set a standard for us to aspire to when May'10 comes around!

Sadly, a tragic, one of the most horrific events had abruptly taken away a family member of our friends...we were brutally reminded how precious are the times we share with our loved ones, and how we simply cannot take any of these moments for granted.

Next week, I have a couple of job interviews for a postdoc position and it is likely that the rest of the year will be spent on trying to determine the path of the next chapter of our lives - wedding planning, career planning, family planning(?), etc. I just hope we remember to treasure each and every moment, and to remember to live for the present as much as planning for the future.

Madness?

2009-10-27T03:53:00.003-04:00

This just in - CK is moving back to Chicago! Just a couple more weeks to go. Just need to somehow organize and "finish" 8 years of work, finish those still-on-going experiments, hire a mover, pack, sell, ... and somewhere in between make two more trips to Chicago for Immigration appointment and a wedding ... and entertain mom and show her around Dallas. Hm.

Well, Dallas dear, you have been great and I've grown so fond of you. Alas, it's time to forge ahead and build Ko-Dauk future!

Re: Wedding Planning
We have the date (May 14, 2010!), ceremony location (Punta Cana!), have the Dinner confirmed with a menu, found a travel agent, and have an officiant. We are done now, right? No? ... oh, yeah...we still need a photographer, videographer, CK needs a dress (and decide on hair/make-up, accessories, shoes, etc.), CD probably needs an appropriate suit and a tie (maybe no tie?), need to confirm the wedding party, find appropriate attires for the wedding party, need to arrange flowers, cake, after party, ceremony music, favors ... and DIY projects of Save-the-Date's, Invites, Place cards, Programs...seating chart...guestbook...whoever said planning a wedding is "fun"? What else? What am I missing? Please do tell.

Oh, I forgot, I also need to find a new job!

Engagement Photos

2009-09-05T14:52:00.033-04:00

On August 31, 2009, we met up with a Chicago-based photographer Ian Villaceran and spent a couple of hours exploring our beautiful Chicago. Yes, the idea of 'engagement photoshoot' was ALL mine; and I am so glad CD indulged my wishes. :)

Here're some teaser images!

*Photos by Ian Villaceran*

How we came to meet Ian:

There are some fabulous, amazing photogs in Chicago! I posted a thread searching for a great and affordable photographer in Chicago area on Weddingbee. Ian actually saw the post and sent me a message offering his service. He has worked as a freelance photographer and journalist in the past and started his own wedding photography business. After a couple of years away attending to his first born, he is now starting to rebuild his portfolio. (Here'a link to his previous website: http://ianvillaceran.bigfolioblog.com/month/may08.)

Ian was an absolute sweetheart. CD is a bit camera shy and he totally put him at ease and let us just have fun. (BTW, did I mention he was also incredibly AFFORDABLE?!!) One unique feature is that he exclusively shoots with film. YES, films! As much as I was glad to support the film art, I was a bit weary about this in the beginning - we've gotten so used to the convenience and immediate gratification of digital photos...

In the end, I am happy with the results. (Ian even uploaded the proofs within 24 hrs!) I also appreciate that he has such a conviction to preserve the film art. We have pictures and memories that we will treasure forever and I just want to give TWO THUMBS UP to Ian!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I also have to give a shout out to Josh from Obviouschild Productions, whom I've gotten to know a bit during my search for a photographer. He was by far one of the most enthusiastic and visionary photographer I encountered. I will be watching out for his future work!

Old and New Friendships

2009-09-03T22:34:00.014-04:00

A couple of weekends ago, CD and I hopped on the I-35 and drove South to meet up with Chung family. We made it into San Antonio in time for late dinner (prepared by J&K) and to spend some time with their beautiful three children and K's parents. I haven't seen J&K since D&P's wedding 3 years ago, but we picked up right where we left off, and the conversation flowed until the wee hours of the night. Saturday morning, we woke up to yummy smells of breakfast already well on the way, and took our time sipping our coffees and playing with the children. Around noon, us four adults headed out to Austin (woohoo! an adult weekend!). :)

Austin was so much fun! Oddest fact was that it took traveling to Austin for CD's first experience with Pho and Dim Sum! We also met up with CD's fraternity brother TB who met us all prepared with fabulous suggestions for dinner and drinks for the night. All of us got along great whether we've just met or have known each other for 15+ years. CD has a great philosophy that one should always surround him/herself with great people - that weekend, five people met in a stranger's city, and rekindled and newly formed long-lasting, lifetime friendships. I am so lucky to have found my life's partner in such a great man that not only brings great new friends for me, but also appreciates mine.

*After Sunday Dim Sum with J&K*

Missing: TB

Art District - Dallas

2009-08-18T02:39:00.014-04:00

We've been slacking on wedding planning, but we have been trying to explore Texas. I'm proud to say we've started 'church hopping/shopping' (and searching for a premarital course/counseling); reaching out getting in touch with long-time friends in nearby cities in TX; and venturing out to different city areas and museums on weekends. We've visited the West End Historic District and the 6th Floor Museum, and past Saturday, we walked about downtown Art District. I have to say I've found my favorite spot in Dallas - Nasher Sculpture Center! I couldn't believe how desolate downtown Dallas was, but being inside the Nasher garden was just wonderful. Dallas Museum of Art also had a great outdoor area where I could sit with a cup of java and just enjoy the day...even in 100+ degree heat!

Next up? We're looking forward to catching up with the Chung's in San Antonio/Austin!

Re: wedding plans

CD accompanied me to my first 'dress look' a few weeks ago. Didn't find the dress, but I also didn't anticipate I would. I was glad that he got to experience what it is like (now he can relate!) and seeing the dresses also opened up his mind - when browsing pictures, he was not fond of any lace, but he's now OK with it. He was also such a great assistant! He took notes on his Blackberry as I carried on the conversation with the dress lady and took pictures. So helpful! But that would be it for him as far as dress shopping is concerned. Next time he sees me in a white dress will be on the wedding day. :)

We also finally sat down and talked over the priorities. Our priorities are: Chapel ceremony, great time with family and friends, and keeping the cost as low as possible. Simple, right? Leave it to my man, CD came up with one heck of an Excel spreadsheet for venue comparison and got us organized. We are now trying to fill in the 'cells' so that we can ultimately make the decision on where. The when will follow shortly after that!

The Great Plains

2009-07-27T02:07:00.014-04:00

~1800 miles + 10 States + 3 days = 1 long a$$ road trip!
Having your beau with you the whole time and in Dallas for an extended period? = Priceless! Joyous! Happiness! Woohoo!

What a weekend! We pretty much spent the entire weekend in a car. The map above sums it up!

My ever so thoughtful and loving FI decided to move down to Dallas for 6-8 weeks to be with me; but, before he moved, we had to make a bit of detour. Unfortunately, my place in Dallas does not allow dogs...so...we had to take the ladies to his sister's place in Fargo. I flew up to Chicago on Wednesday night, we headed to Fargo on Thursday morning (bright and early), got a bit of time to spend with FSIL and FBIL, left Fargo on Friday afternoon, stopped at Topeka, KS, for a night, then made the rest of the trip to Dallas on Saturday.

FSIL w/ the ladies

FSIL, FBIL, their new pup Boggs, and CD
[Good old Molly was beside me]

CD and I are very excited about our time together and looking forward to our adventure in Dallas; however, it was incredibly difficult to leave our girls behind...(I think we will have a real hard time in the future if we ever need to send our kids away to camp, to grandparents', or college!) Well, at the least, they won't be bored with Boggs chasing them around and Molly will keep them in line! And, most fortunately, my FSIL is one heck of a 'dog whisperer' - total, complete, utmost trust in her that they will be great in her care. We are so grateful that she (and her hubby) have taken them in. :)

Oh, yeah...I AM Canadian!

2009-07-21T01:59:00.006-04:00

I've spent almost 50% of my life in the US. I am fully aware that I am not an American...but since I've been going across CAD-US borders wish such ease for two decades, I forgot that with the wedding will come the need to change of my visa status. (I didn't really forget, I was just not fully cognizant...)

To make a very long and complicated story short, mostly having to do with employment and health insurance, we decided that we should be fully prepared for all the paperwork that will be necessary for my immigration to US. And, WTH! There's a ton of paperwork! AND costly! :(

Just gathering all the information and understanding the steps took me two weeks of research...(and I'm still not entirely clear on some forms)...now I'm hoping that the hard part is done and the paperwork isn't going to be too difficult...but I hear otherwise...

Meanwhile, I met with a US visa specialist today who turned out to be a "future teller" (her own words). She said CD and I will be fine and be settled in CA by the end of the year. She even went as far as predicting that CD's company will do very well and named my future PI.

Well, I have a feeling I will sleep well tonight! [Said with a little tiny bit of skepticism and lots of hope.]

On a very serious note, please remember us in your prayers that the immigration process is smooth and goes well. I have all the faith that it will, but it never hurts to remind God of his own Grace. Thank you in advance! :)

...wedding is not about you, but the marriage is...

2009-07-11T11:34:00.006-04:00

When we announced our engagement, a [wise] married friend wrote me: "Remember, wedding is not about you, but the marriage is." My dad also expressed that the wedding is a formality, but what is most important in marriage is how ready are our hearts and mind.

I was reading some threads on wedding forums this morning and ... geesh, there are so many things that can go wrong when it comes to planning a wedding! Having had my first melt-down(?) already yesterday, I just needed to re-affirm to myself these words - wedding is not about us, the marriage is; and, of course, remember how blessed I am that I have the most important element in this whole wedding equation = the man who will stand beside me on the wedding day and every day thereafter (and that man is CD)!

Uncomfortable day

2009-07-11T01:13:00.008-04:00

So, I've been debating how much of wedding planning details to put on this blog. If you know me, you know that I'm very open. I love to share. However, this is our wedding we are talking about! Shouldn't there be some surprises for the guests? ... Well, so I've been holding back. Not that anything's been planned yet. But there are little details here and there I so wanted to share and discuss and get feedback and vent...etc...

I guess today made my decision easy. This morning, I got an email from CD regarding safety concerns in Mexico. ... Wait, let me step back a little. I'll get back to the email shortly.

First, after much thought, we decided we want a DW (Destination Wedding). I've been absolutely overwhelmed researching all over N. America, Hawaii, Caribbean, etc. for a perfect place (stress inducer #1). Eventually, I decided that most certainly, I want the ceremony to take place at a chapel. This helped to narrow down resorts significantly, since not many have an on-site chapel. This was great at first since I could cross out places and come up with a short list. Then, it became not so great since it also meant we now have very limited options (stress inducer #2).

Top 4 places I've narrowed down to are in Hawaii (main island) and in Mexico (Riviera Maya and Los Cabos). Hawaii, to me, seems a bit too far and the airfare seems it will be quite more than it will be to Mexico. To CD, Mexico's recent uprising of violence (mostly due to the drug infighting) is a major concern. So then, Caribbean and/or within US or Canada would work out better. BUT...the cost of DW within US/Canada would require more help in planning (unlike a resort where one place would take care of everything) and if they did provide the service (or if we hire a planner), the cost is outrageous! We might as well have the wedding at our beloved city - Chicago. Problem with the Caribbean is that I have not found a single resort with a chapel! Sigh~ :(

I have gotten suggestions as to rent a few villas in the Caribbean (and perhaps find a local church, if there is one) - but who do we go to in order to plan the wedding part? It seems to me I have to talk to multiple people to arrange this; but the beauty of DW and one of the main reasons we decided on DW was to simplify things. Having to negotiate with multiple vendors/venues does not seem simple to me...

Anyway, back to the email. Why did I have an uncomfortable day today? Well, CD forwarded me an email from a friend who is an expert in International Security...and his outlook on Mexico was not all that positive. I momentarily got very upset (the two Mexico resorts were my favorites and I've seen so many pictures and videos that I was sort of leaning towards them...a lot...), and instead of taking a moment, I broke the cardinal rule of email ettiquette. I fired off a nasty, b!^chy email back to CD going off on how if he doesn't want to do a chapel wedding or go to Mexico, he should speak up now; and, I think I also said I'm not compromising... Well, it was totally uncalled for.

I was even more upset all day (my mind and heart were just so "uncomfortable" for the lack of better words) because I knew I not only ruined my own day, but CD's as well. Of course, I'm also too stubborn to apologize right away, so waited all day to call him. (OK, I did try to weasel out by sending little texts, but I don't think they worked since his replies were a bit terse.)

Well, so there. This blog will now contain ups and downs and the details of our wedding planning. Hopefully, in short time, you'll read about some progress!

BTW, we are thinking anywhere between late January - May, 2010, wedding. We haven't completely ruled out Chicago; and at the very least, we are keeping an open mind to holding small receptions in both Chicago and Toronto (Toronto to appease my parents' friends and to do Paebaek* ceremony, which may not be feasible to do at DW).

!!! I JUST WANT A DATE AND A PLACE, ALREADY !!!

*Paebaek is a traditional Korean wedding ceremony. This website has a good description. Click on the top banner for more detailed description.

Inner Freedom

2009-07-08T17:50:00.014-04:00

Not to use a cliche, but truly, "love sets you free". We hit a milestone past weekend as I finally got Chuck to pose silly for a picture. :)

This is not something he does. This is something he used to abhor! But for the first time, he didn't even question me when I said, "do this" - as I made a pose mimicking the Captain on the Helm sculpture. I was ecstatic! Some may wonder why I'm making such a big deal out of this, but this picture tells me that we have reached a point where both of us are completely free with each other and can express our [what I like to call] 'inner freedom' even in the public eye.

Oh, how I LO~ve this picture!
Of course, I love the normal ones, like the one below, too.

These pictures were taken on the day after Independence Day. We had a wonderful weekend dining with friends on Friday and Saturday; and on Sunday, had a Chicago date day for just the two of us - we walked Navy Pier, went and saw a movie (Proposal - a fact that the movie describes a Canadian-American nuptial was not lost on us), walked Michigan Avenue, and had dinner around Rush Street. It was a fun day! It was a perfect weekend!

Introducing Mr. & Mrs. Ko!

2009-07-03T02:59:00.016-04:00

On June 27, 2009, my brother DK got married! So much to share, but for now, these links would have to do. It was an overwhelming weekend...lots and lots of love, good old and new friends, relatives I haven't seen in years, and we got to take a brief moment to celebrate CD's and my birthdays as well!

Password: pics2share

Picnic in the backyard when we celebrated CD's and my birthdays:
http://photobucket.com/carri38707_6-26-09_Picnic

Rehearsal, Rehearsal dinner:
http://photobucket.com/carri38707_Ko-Lee_Wedding_Rehearsal

Wedding day:
http://photobucket.com/carri38707_6-27-09

Receptions (we had a lunch and a dinner reception) and Paebaek (Traditional Korean Ceremony):
http://photobucket.com/carri38707_6-27-09_Receptions

After Party:
http://photobucket.com/carri38707_6-27-09_Ewha

Lunch reception was more casual and for everyone who wanted to attend (no RSVP; there were almost 300 people!); and dinner reception was just for family and close friends who traveled from afar (~50 people).

Most importantly, it was first time CD got exposed to my [crazy] relatives! Thankfully, they loved him and he loved them! He also got along great with DK's friends...they forewarned us that they will be crashing our wedding...I think our guest number just went up and up! :)

Perils of LDR

2009-06-22T22:31:00.005-04:00

CD was suppose to fly in on past Friday - ETA ~11:50PM. Starting about 7PM, text messages started to flow, and FB updates made it painfully clear that Mid-West was already hit with a Tornado. O'Hare pretty much closes down when there is a bit of drizzle, so we both knew this was not looking good. After many delays after delays, his flight was canceled at about 1AM...

Add hours at the Airport customer service line + taxi line + being on hold on the reservation phone line...fortunately for me, he was able to find a flight to Dallas on Saturday - ETA ~2PM. Throw in another dash of delay, he was finally here at ~4PM on Saturday.

Thankfully, from that point on, it was a blissful day and a half!

We grabbed some chips and salsa (+ a few margaritas) at Primos; met up with his former colleague who showed us around a couple of neighborhood bars (Ginger Man & Londoner); brunch with my colleagues; watched 'Hangover' once again (it was just as funny the second time around!); and even got to squeeze in our very first wedding-related activity! We happened to walk by Paper Source, so we looked at some stationery and picked out two colors that are forerunners in becoming our wedding colors. :)

We hit a bit of speedbump when we checked out the restaurant Fish - no link to Fish because it was absolutely the worst Sushi restaurant we've ever been to. The atmosphere is better than fine - cool mix of black and red decor. But, the Sashimi was tasteless - obviously frozen and thawed multiple times. (I was actually really worried that we might get sick!) The appetizer, beef wrapped avocado, was too heavy (seemed like a novel idea, but the two just didn't harmonize in taste); the spicy yellowtail roll was bland; and tempura was too greasy. I was none too thrilled that our weekend had to end with that meal.

Nonetheless, we enjoyed the rest of the evening in each other's company. This morning, it was difficult dropping him off at the airport - I mean, it was really difficult: we had to leave my place at 5:15AM; I got us lost twice (well, made detours) at the airport; and ended up dropping him off at a wrong gate...and all this on his BIRTHDAY! (Happy Birthday, Honey!)

It's his birthday but all I know is that I was the one showered with gifts this weekend - his visit! Oh, and did I mention I miserably failed and couldn't find a gift for him in time? (Yes, I know. I seriously need to do better...)...

BTW, shout out to J&A - thank you for Pug-sitting!

Rendezvous @ ORD

2009-06-18T14:32:00.003-04:00

On Tuesday, I flew out of BUF, made a stop at ORD, then came home to DFW. For some reason, I had completely forgotten my layover was at Chicago (thought it was in St. Louis or LaGuardia); and the layover was ~2 hrs giving us (or should have given us) plenty of time to meet up and have dinner. It was a pleasant surprise (?) and I was so ecstatic.

...

Then, the rain came to Chicago. We all know O'Hare when it drizzles, nevermind a storm. My incoming flight was suspended in the air and we circled for over 40 min! And as the luck will have it, my outbound flight was only delayed by 15 min. This gave us about 45 minutes to sit down together.

...

It felt "funny" having to meet my very own FI at an airport for a quick bite and having to be on my way again. You do this sort of a thing with friends or relatives who live afar and/or don't see often...this isn't the way to get in the "face time" with your own FIANCE! Well, unfortunately, that is the situation for us right now and we are learning to appreciate every minute we get to share - Time is a treasure.

Convocation

2009-06-12T03:45:00.004-04:00

There are times when you just know that the eyes you are looking into are lovingly looking back at you. Tuesday was filled with such times. In my parents' eyes; in my brother's eyes; and in my FI's eyes...

Believe me when I say the convocation ceremony was not for me, but it was for my loved ones who watched over and supported me through all the years. It was such a fantastic day knowing that I was their pride and joy. I was especially happy to have CD standing by me, sharing this special moment that officially marked the end of a life's chapter, and to see the genuine adoration and pride in his eyes...

...I've worked and sacrificed for a long time to be Dr. Ko; but, now I cannot wait to become Mrs. Dauk! :)

Being apart...

2009-06-03T01:22:00.007-04:00

It's been a week since I returned to Dallas. To say it's been frustrating and lonesome(?) would be an understatement. I feel that this is time when we should be cherishing every moment of excitement and actively looking and planning for the future (of course, including the wedding)...but we are hundreds of miles apart and I just can't find any motivation to go about my day.

CD's been very supportive and does his best to brighten my day. But when the moment fades, I'm back to being lethargic again. :(

I'll get over it soon. Perhaps it has to do with, in part, my dis-satisfaction of progress at work...(don't feel like elaborating on that part, at least not today)...

I share this because the down side also make up a KoDauk moment I want to cherish. Because one day, I'll look back on this post and say: "how silly! now you can't wait to have some time to yourself!"

...ooh, I can't wait for that day! ;)

Wanted Details?

2009-05-27T17:21:00.013-04:00

[First, we are so grateful for all the warm wishes!]

I have been asked by so many to provide a couple of details that may have been left out on 'May 22, 2009' post:

1) What did he exactly say?

I actually had to ask CD for this (as I mentioned, I wasn't quite coherent at the time). He says, his exact question was: "Will you do me the extreme pleasure and marry me?"

2) Let's see the ring!

You asked, and here it is! If I say so myself, he did great! Love, love, love my ring. It's exactly what I wanted!

OK, I have to admit that I feel a bit obnoxious posting these pictures, but hey(!), I only get to live this moment once in a life time! ;)

Lazy Ladies on Memorial Day

2009-05-25T14:54:00.017-04:00

CD's at the gym, and here I am on the couch doing a bit of work...Selma jumps up and demands that she gets to sit on my chest, kicks out the laptop...

in comes, Patty - no way that she gets left out!

Patty - butting in.

Aw - we are good and comfy!

Still good and comfy...

But now mama can't reach the keyboard!

Just sharing some of my favorite moments in our home. :)

Patty has now moved over to my left shoulder; Selma is still on my chest resting her head on my right arm and I'm having to [weight]lift her [big] head with my biceps as I type...both of them sound asleep...

May 22, 2009

2009-05-23T12:02:00.014-04:00

It's been 14 months to the date since we first met. [I'm back in Chicago for work/long weekend.] It was a beautiful Chicago Summer day, and I was already having a wonderful day - a little bit of work, a little bit of shopping in Bucktown with a good girlfriend (found some great deals!), and a good hour of Yoga.

CD had told me we had plans for dinner with some friends, so I headed home to get ready.

When I got home, I found him already in dressy clothes. He reminded me that he had a meeting in the afternoon and that he decided to stay in the clothes for dinner.

As I'm cooling down, playing with the ladies (the pugs - Patty and Selma), putting things away, etc...I noticed a Fedex box on the kitchen counter. He told me he had bought something for me [he's surprised me with little gifts here and there before]; so, I smiled and started to open the box. He came over with a knife to help with packaging tape, and when I got it opened, I saw a few Victoria's Secret items. I was a bit confused since VS is not something he will order from online (at least I didn't think it was). Also, the box was way too big for the items in the box. I actually said "this is it?" as I flipped over some tissue papers inside.

And, there it was! A ring box! I opened it and saw the ring...and I was totally confused/surprised! We've gone to see a couple of jewelers, but we still had an appointment on coming Tuesday!

CD took the ring from the box, held my left hand, got down on his one knee, and said something...[I saw his mouth moving but not exactly sure what he said]...then I noticed he was staring at me and realized I'm probably suppose to say 'yes'. So I did! I cannot remember ever crying because I was so happy. Well, on May 22, a man named C. Dauk made me a very happy woman and made me cry...and we made a KoDauk moment! :)

Once I gathered myself, we made some phone calls, I changed out of my sweaty yoga clothes, then we headed out for a night out!

[By the way, there was no meeting in the afternoon. He got all dressed up for us! and, the dinner was just for two to celebrate and soak in the moment...]